Useful Tips About Relationship Issues
Many times our self esteem can be directly related to our relationship with someone. It doesn’t matter is it’s a marriage or we are dating. We hope a relationship will bring out the best in us but sometimes we find it is the root of our issues.
We always hope to find the person we dream to be the one we will be with forever, but it does not always work out that way. There can be conflict that goes on between the couple and you have to find out what the issue is.
Is this issue something that has originated from some problem between the two of you or did one of you bring a problem from a previous relationship into the new? It can be stressful trying to find the root of the problem but it is necessary if the two of you want to resolve the problem you are having.
Reading self help books can help you understand how to use different techniques to fix your relationship. It may not be easy to fix things, but if the two of you are really in love you should be making an all out effort.
If your relationship has been a strong one, you should have a good partner to help overcome problems you may have brought to your new relationship. They should be willing to endure whatever issue you may have to overcome and with their help you may find that your new relationship will grow stronger.
Try your best not to criticize each other over things, this can only make things worse, be constructive not destructive. Criticism will only make a person feel less of themselves or even less of the person criticizing. Don’t create a power struggle between the two of you; this will create an atmosphere that will never allow you to resolve your issues.
If you have experienced a relationship problem and would like to discover how to get past the heartache or learn how to make up and save your relationship before a break up happens, there are many proven methods that can help.
Relationship Secrets 101 – Giving Space
Starting a relationship gives you someone to talk to; someone you can lean on when in times of trials; someone you can share your dreams with, and someone you can spend the rest of our life with.
A relationship is made up of two individuals who share the same hopes and dreams; a couple who fills up their own individual gaps with individual strengths and weaknesses. Building up a relationship requires tandem effort, and it eats up a lot of tandem effort. Maintaining a relationship needs not two individuals but only one vision made up by two unified, loving minds.
But after all is said and done, a relationship still ends up with two individuals with diverse lives and diverse characteristics. An individual’s needs are still different from another individual’s needs. Despite the closeness of a couple in a relationship, space is still needed for them to breathe and live as individuals with diverse needs and characteristics.
First of all, before you get into a relationship, you should have already established a lifestyle and characteristics that you cannot just leave behind and forget once you have committed yourself into loving someone. That someone also had a life of his or her own before you met him or her and he or she can’t just leave that life all at once just for the sake of getting into a relationship. What both individuals should do is give each other some space to still live their lives and do other things that were around them before they committed themselves to the relationship.
Space is a vital part of relationship’s maintaining power. Lack of space might lead to the suffocation of the individual; and a little after that, the death of the relationship.
Space is given for the individual who is in a relationship to still do things on his or her own; what clothes to wear, who to hang out with. Individual decisions should not be done by a couple, they should be done individually. Most relationships are subjected to bad endings because the individuals in a relationship tend to step on each other’s lives and tries to control them because they don’t like it; they end up deciding what should the other do, the other ends up becoming a slave, and the relationship is bound to fall off at any given time.
Space is also important for the privacy of an individual in a relationship. Privacy is also the main reason why relationships tend to get out of hand. It is important to remember that individual privacy is entirely different from the privacy within a relationship even though both are really important elements. Individual privacy is more of a person’s own space; a sanctuary within himself or herself; it is where he or she ponders on the things he or she has accomplished in life as an individual.
Space, along with enough time is also required for a relationship to strengthen itself up to an unbreakable extent wherein the individuals in that relationship are happy being together and are also happy being individuals who have their own breathing and thinking space.
[Top]Top 10 Lottery Horror Stories
Not very many people win the lottery, but of those who win, many lose all their winnings and end up with less money than before they won. Some winners were simply foolish, some were greedy, some had greedy relatives and friends, and some fell prey to thieves and crooks. Here are the stories of 10 people who won the lottery then lost it all.
#1 Evelyn Adams
In 1985 AND 1986, Evelyn Adams won the lottery – equaling a total winning of $5.4 million. However, today – she has no money “Winning the lottery isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be,” says Evelyn Adams, who won the New Jersey lottery not just once, but twice (1985, 1986), to the tune of $5.4 million. Today the money is all gone and Adams lives in a trailer. She lost money in slot machines, and couldn’t seem to say no to relatives and friends. Evelyn’s big win ended in a big loss.
#2 William Post
In 1988, William Post won $16.2 million in the Pennsylvania lottery but now lives on his Social Security. Post’s former girlfriend sued him for a share of his winnings and one of his brothers was arrested for hiring a hit man to kill him, hoping to inherit a share of the winnings. His relationship with his other siblings was also strained and he spent some time in jail. Within a year, he was $1 million in debt and eventually declared bankruptcy. He now lives on only $450 a month and food stamps.
#3 Suzanne Mullins
In 1993, Suzanne Mullins won $4.2 million in the Virginia lottery. Now she’s deeply in debt to a company that lent her money using the winnings as collateral. She borrowed $197,746.15 from this company, but eventually stopped making payments on the loan. She blamed the debt on the lengthy illness of her uninsured son-in-law, who needed $1 million for medical bills. Needless to say, her lottery win did not end in happiness.
#4 Ken Proxmire Ken Proxmire won $1 million in the Michigan lottery. Within 5 years he filed for bankruptcy after moving to California and starting a car business with his brothers. He has now returned to his job as a machinist.
#5 Willie Hurt
In 1989, Willie Hurt of Lansing, Mich., won $3.1 million. Only two years later he was broke and charged with murder after spending his fortune on a divorce and crack cocaine.
#6 Janite Lee
In 1993, Janite lee of Missouri won $18 million. Lee was generous to a variety of causes, including various political organizations, education programs and the community services. According to published reports, eight years after winning, Lee had filed for bankruptcy with only $700 left.
#7 Southeastern Family
In the early 1990s, a Southeastern family won $4.2 million. In almost no time at almost all of their winnings were spent on a huge house, cars, and various requests from family members. They bought a huge house and succumbed to repeated family requests for help in paying off debts. Eleven years after winning, the couple got divorced, the house was sold and what was left of their lottery winnings had to be split.
[Top]I’m Still Madly In Love With My Ex And I Want Them Back
At the breakup of a long term relationship or marriage there are many who are still thinking to themselves, “I’m still in love with my ex.” This is common, so you are not alone in your thinking. You probably still have some hope that you can get them back. Even if things seem bleak right now and hope is little, it does not mean you cant get your ex back. Not only can you get them back, but the relationship can be stronger than ever. But, when you find that you are saying, “I’m still in love with my ex”, and you are longing to get your relationship back you will have to make it stronger if it has more of a chance to last.
Be careful in your anxiousness to get your lover back. For those impatiently declaring “I’m still in love with my ex” you may be too quick to turn back the hands of time. You may get what you ask for now, but if done incorrectly you may have the same final results that you experienced before.
The best place to begin is at ground zero. Take the time to figure out what mistakes were made in the previous relationship and also how the mistakes had an impact on the relationship. This will begin the process of building a stronger love than was present before. Starting all over again from scratch is the way to get back the one you love. You have to behave smarter this second time around, so tell yourself, “Yes, I’m still in love with my ex, but I want it to be better this time around.”
Let your renewed relationship happen naturally, and not in a contrived manor. Start up a friendship with your ex first, but take it slowly. If your ex feels that you are just trying to jump back into the relationship and things will be no different, than getting back together may not happen. It’s an age old saying, but if you are supposed to be together than it will happen.
You may experience a lot of crying and depression after your breakup but dont let your ex see it. Try your best to think positively as well. Most plans only succeed if you think positively. Acting depressed to your ex is more of a turn off than not. They probably would think “I dont want that in my life.” But, if they sense you are actually happy they will be curious as to what is going on, and re-think the breakup.
Ask yourself, “What type of person would I like to be with?” Would your ex like to be with that type as well? The majority of people want to hang around happy people who can create happiness in other’s lives too. That is the type of person you will want to be. Try to be someone that is in a good mood, can make others smile and can make a person feel they are wanted in life. Make your ex feel special to you.
You will be able to get your ex back and regain that love again if you can make yourself valuable to your ex. As well you want to make them feel needed by you. A balance of both is necessary. It is one thing to say, “I’m still in love with my ex”, but unless you take your time in building a stronger foundation than you had before you will not be able to get the love you had back as well as a stronger relationship.
[Top]How To Get Your Ex Back- And Rebuild The Relationship
You want to know how to rebuild your relationship and get your ex to come back. What can you do?
This can be a difficult enterprise. Sometimes the things you need to do will seem counter productive. You need to be strong and have faith in the process and yourself.
One important strategy is to step back and stay calm. Raging emotions are usually unhelpful. No desperation here, just logical thinking, in determining what you need to do to have the best chance of rebuilding your relationship.
You should realize that the break up could be permanent and you will have to prepare yourself for this eventuality. It is important here to understand that in the long term it is better to cut your loses and move on than keep pursuing a lost course. Look at it this way, it’s better to be alone than be in the wrong relationship.
Having said that, most relationships can be saved and worth a second chance.
If your ex is resisting making contact, then you need to show that you are OK with that. Acceptance of the situation can take the pressure off and prevent further damage being done.
Constant phone calls/text messages can drive your ex further from the idea of getting back together with you. It is better to have them wondering what you are doing. Remember the saying that absence makes the heart stronger. Keep your ex guessing.
Then get on with your daily activities as if everything is as it should be!)
See your friends and have fun but be careful. Don’t overdo things here as that could be very unproductive. Trying to make your ex jealous is not worth the trouble and could easily backfire.
When your ex hears that you are doing well,he/she may rethink the situation, and start to make reconciliation moves towards you.
Sometimes just by taking the pressure off is all that you need to do. It gives your ex time to realize how good the relationship was and that it is worth another try.
Usually, if the relationship is going to go anywhere, it will be up to the person who walked away to make the first contact.
When contact is renewed be sure to take things slowly. No rushing straight back to where you left off. Give yourselves the time to get to know each other as friends again.
Then it would be the time to discuss the situation, what and why things went wrong. It is important to understand how you both feel and what you both want and need from the relationship.
Having taken the time individually to think things through, you will both be clear about how to proceed.
This way you have a much better chance of getting your ex back and rebuilding you relationship.
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